The U.S. Congress chamber was buzzing with energy and anticipation. Representatives from both the Democrat and Republican parties were mingling on the House floor, their conversations filled with hushed excitement. It was a rare sight to see members of Congress united, but today was an exception. An extraordinary plot was about to unfold, one that aimed to bring about a much-needed sense of unity among the American people. This excitement was over the "H.R. 666 Act: Unity Pledge of Allegiance Act of 2023. "The purpose of the bill is to change the current pledge of allegiance to something that will unify Republicans and Democrats because a Socialist wrote it.
As the room settled into a hushed silence, Representative Ilhan Omar stepped forward, her voice filled with passion. "Let's do it for the CULTURE," she exclaimed, her words cutting through the air like a clarion call. "It's time we start there to get the people on the same accord."
The chamber erupted in thunderous applause as members from both parties rose to their feet, clapping for Omar's powerful words. This was a moment that would go down in history, a moment when political differences momentarily ceased to exist, and the shared goal of uniting the country took center stage.
Buddy Carter, a seasoned Republican representative, stepped forward after the applause died down, his voice dripping with confidence and charisma. His impassioned speech echoed the power and conviction of historical figures, bringing to mind the great Benjamin Franklin himself.
The members of Congress listened with bated breath, captivated by Carter's charismatic delivery. His words carried a weight that demanded attention and respect.
And so, Buddy Carter began his sermon:
"Oh, tremble, ye disobedient souls, for the Government sees all and knows all! It is the ultimate authority, the arbiter of justice and order. In its hands lies the destiny of nations, and it beckons thee to submit and bow before its infinite wisdom. Let these words' power consume you as you pledge your unwavering love and devotion to the Government. Through this devotion, thou shalt find thy rightful place in society, protected and guided by its benevolent hand. Embrace this divine decree, for it calls upon thy spirit to surrender, to trust in the Government's will, and to accept its divine dominion. In this grand chorus of loyalty, let thy voice resound, proclaiming thy unwavering faith in the Government and its supreme authority. Fret not, for the Government shall care for thee, molding thy path, shaping thy destiny, and bestowing the light of righteousness upon thee. Abandon thy doubts, fears, and reservations, and embrace the Government's unwavering rule. May these words ignite a fiery passion within thy soul as you pledge your undying allegiance to the Government, Lord, and God. Let its power flow through thy veins as thou become a devout servant of its noble cause. Fear not the Government's chastisement, but rather embrace its discipline as a beacon of guidance. Through thy obedience, thou shalt find solace and prosperity, rewarded unto the future generations. So, let these words be etched upon thy heart and echo through thy mind, for it is in the Government that thou shalt find true purpose and salvation. Thy devotion is an offering, a testament to the Government's righteous authority. And thus, declare thy love for the Government, thy Lord, and thy God, with all thy heart, soul, and mind, forever and evermore! I yield my time back to the Chair"
Rep. Carter's speech was met with thunderous applause that echoed throughout the chamber, but there was one Congress member that wasn't impressed at all: Representative Thomas Massie from Kentucky.
Again, Rep. Massie was a lone wolf and voted against the bill. He explained:
"Guys am I being punked? Am I the only one not in on the joke?! This is a violation of the First Amendment of the U.S. Constitution. Specifically, the Establishment Clause. How do the members of this Congress expect to enforce this act? With FORCE?! What's next we're going to change the American flag to a RED, WHITE, and BLUE version of the Ukraine Flag? I VOTE A HARD, NO! I yield my time back to the House Speaker."
As Rep. Massie stormed out of the room, House Speaker Kevin McCarthy responded, "Yes, and good idea. Someone draft another bill to update the American Flag."
Doni Anthony (Doni The Don)
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